Saying Good Bye

As I sat tonight rocking my daughter and stroking her delicate curls, I couldn't help but reflect upon all the little things my mom did when I was small. How she too used to rub my head at night while she read, and the soothing feeling I always had with the crinkle of each page turning. Or the faint scent of her perfume at the end of each day. I remember her picking me up out of bed and wrapping me in my small yellow blanket, the same blanket my daughter now carries, as she took me out to the car to take my brother and I to the sitter so she could go to work. I remember the fog and the three little kittens and how they lost their mittens. I remember seeing her standing at the fence during my soccer games, in uniform, just stopping by during her patrol. I remember hitting rock bottom and her worrying about me. And as I left for the military to find myself, I remember her tears and her pride as she watched me do something she never had the courage to do herself. I didn't return home until only a year ago and this time I had a sweet baby girl of my own in tow. And once again I saw worry in my mom's eyes and joy and reassurance. This past year has been full if realizations. I am capable and stronger than I had ever thought possible, things I've only come to realize with the help of my mother. She's listened to my hopes, my fears, she's helped me through my stuggles and she has shown me how to once again, get back on my feet and head out on my own. As I leave for New Mexico tomorrow, to start my new job and my new life, I have no idea how to say thank you or show my mother how grateful I am to her. So I am leaving with this public display of affection, which if you know me, does not come easy.
So mom, I know you will read this and I just want to say, thank you for this life you have given me. I love you more than I could ever say.